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Post by xToTheENDx on Apr 17, 2008 19:49:00 GMT -5
^The last one sounds like the way Aaron and his mom go back and fourth sometimes. XD
And I have some from today:
Kitten's dad: "I know your native tongue is sarcasm, Sarah. Just use a little less of it, please." ----- Kitten: "Are you a coffee drinker, Andrew?" Andrew: "I haven't developed the 'acquired taste' (And by 'acquired' I mean 'Forced myself to imbibe over and over again until my tastebuds are beaten into submission') for tepid water that has been filtered through burned, crushed legumes." Aaron: "Hey, coffee... a drink derived from a bean, and I like beans..." Andrew: "I like pizza, too; but I wouldn't burn it, crush it into a fine powder, and filter tepid water through it, then drink it." --
Coty: "I know this dude who went on a really bad Acid trip. Perminatly. He think's he's a glass of f*ckin' orange juice! You can bump into him and he gets really mad because he like, thinks your spilling his orange juice. It's crazy."
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Post by Jesse on Apr 19, 2008 16:37:58 GMT -5
Lol. I like the last one. XD
Sonya: My cousin is 99.8 percebt gay, .1 percent straight, and .1 percent other.
Sam: Amanda and Katie aren't wearing there seatbelts? Amanda: There's no plug-in thing for it. Sam: Why didn't you tell me? Did you ride the whoel 3 hours here without it, too? Amanda: No, we wrapped it around us.
Sam: Danny Noriega stinks! I love Ryan Seacrest!
Me: *To Eli--Sam's 3 year old son* I love Elmo! Eli: *glares at me* No!
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Post by xToTheENDx on Apr 20, 2008 0:42:31 GMT -5
^I like those. XD
Aaron: "Guys, am I normal?" Kitten: "No. You're the opposite of normal." Me: "You mean abnormal." Kitten: "No, you're like negative normal - completely absent of normality." Aaron: "Shweet!"
Grant: "Gerard Way is a gay f*g." Kitten: "Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds? You just called Gerard a 'homosexual homosexual'." Me: "And besides, it takes one to know one."
Frankie: "Gerard, in my view, is the second coolest motherf*cker on this planet. Second because I'm first, and therefore cooler."
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Post by Jesse on Apr 21, 2008 19:12:16 GMT -5
^Lol. Those are great. XD
Talking to my other friend Jake on MSN. He's funny and doesn't even try to be.
Me: My sister is 18, isn't getting married until June 20, 2009, already has her wedding dress and is really worried about what food they'll have at her reception. Jake:...And how old is she? Me:.... Me: 18. Jake: Ah. She's over-excited. Me: Lol. Uh, yeah. Just for now, I almost want to say she is 'under-excited'
Jake:...I once tried to play the trumpet... Me: You tried, Jakey, you tried.
Jake: I remember in pre-school I once got sent to the corner for stealing a kids cookie, and I laughed teh whole way there. But I think that was because I stole another cookie on the way there...but they didn't catch me. Me: Lol. I see where you little brother got his personality. Jake: No, Jess, we're completely different. *later* Jake's lil brother Josh: JAKE'S GOTTA GIRLFRIEND! JAKE'S GOTTA GIRLFRIEND!
Me: Talk to ya later, Jake. Jake: No...I have a test tomorrow. If I study, you won't see me for a week...if my mom's generous. If I don't study, make that a month. Or two. or three. (I haven't talked to him since--that was on March 24th. Sarah's b-day)
Jake: People will lock the locker room door so we have to go out the other one and walk half-way around the school just to get to gym class. I'm always late.
Me: Gosh, Jake, you make it sound like everyone is out to get you. Jake: No, I make things sound worse. Me: Aha. Stretchin' the story, huh? Jake: NO!
*Jake signs on* Sarah and I: JAKE! Jake: It's never, "Hi, Jake, how was your day?" it's "OMFG! JAKE!" Is attacked...
Jake: Girl's always complain that boys get to pee standing up...
Jake: *isn't talking to Sarah, Crissy, Rachel and I* Me: *opens a new convo with him* Hi, Jake. How are you? Jake: My IQ is dropping by the second talking to those guys.
and there's so much more...
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Post by xToTheENDx on Apr 21, 2008 19:46:45 GMT -5
Those are great. The 2nd last one actually reminds me of a story I'm writing. XD Don't ask. Or do, but expect a weird answer.
And a couple of quotes:
Me: "Normalicy is but an illusion created by the minds of the powers of the world to make us think we're normal when in reality no one is really normal and hey Aaron, am I boring you with my philosophies?"
Me: "I don't understand what you're saying." Mom: "Well, read my mind!" Aaron: "We don't read micro text yet. Sorry."
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Post by Jesse on Apr 21, 2008 20:07:23 GMT -5
^True da first one. How can you be normal if everyone is different? I say that to people who tell me I'm 'not normal.'
*Gets on MSN* Jake: Are you Jake's friend? Me: If I say yes, do I get a cookie? Jake: Oh...well this is his mother. He'll be on soon. Sorry, jsut checking my e-mail. Me: *embarassed* Yeah, I'm Jake's friend.
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Post by xToTheENDx on Apr 22, 2008 16:20:03 GMT -5
^Haha. That one's pretty funny.
And one from today:
Kitten: "Life is like a box of chocolates; fattening and filled with nuts."
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farmgirl
I know the way around town
Posts: 55
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Post by farmgirl on Apr 23, 2008 11:05:04 GMT -5
^ I love that!
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farmgirl
I know the way around town
Posts: 55
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Post by farmgirl on Apr 25, 2008 13:55:44 GMT -5
OK, my 3 year old brother, Jo-Jo, had a reaction to the sunscreen mom put on him the other day. It made his cheeks all red and hot.
Mom: "-and we need to pray for Jo-Jo's face." Jo-Jo: "Yeah, me face is UGLY."
XD It was a while before we stopped laughing long enough to pray.
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Post by xToTheENDx on Apr 25, 2008 18:16:20 GMT -5
^That's pretty funny.
I have one:
Interviewer: "If you could be a mythological creature, what would you be?" Mikey: "I'd be a werewolf, even though they scare the sh*t out of me." Gerard: "Vampire." Frankie: "I'd be an honest politician."
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Post by Jesse on Apr 27, 2008 7:51:53 GMT -5
^XD Lol.
At the Science Competition at the University of Illinois this weekend:
*after we got Taco Bell* Kris: Sarah's drunk off of Mountain Dew. Sarah: *laughs**picks up mountain dew and starts drinking it* Me: *tries grabbing it way* No! No more mountain dew for you! Sarah: *laughing, spits Mountain Dew all over me and Kris* *We couldn't stop laughing*
*Walking around campus with a free hugs sign* This high school boy comes running up to me and gives me a hug Another high school boy: *runs up and gives me a hug* Another one: I don't think that's legal!......HEY GIRL WANT A DONUT?!
*Shawna and I had a stalker* *Outside of the Ecology room* Me: *looks at a Random boy* Godo luck today! Boy: *glares at me* *In Ecolgy* Boy keeps smiling at me *After Ecology and walking down halls, Shawna and I see the boy following us to the 2nd building.* That's when I realized, oh, he's in Oceanography, too.
But the problem was, he kept following us.
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Post by Jesse on Apr 27, 2008 8:13:30 GMT -5
*Some more*
Kris: Caffeine makes you shorter. I like my height, thank you very much. Sarah: IT DOES? -freaks out- Then what does alcohol shorten? Me: Your brain... -silence- Sarah: Who cares? Kris -instantly afterwards- I know, right?
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